Grant's blessing

On March 7, 2010 we blessed Grant at Church. Many of our family and friends were able to attend in support of our little son. Grant wore a family christening gown that is almost 100 years old. My Nana wore it, my dad and his siblings, and me and my siblings. It was a very special part of the day. James gave a beautiful blessing to Grant and it was a very special expierience. We feel so blessed to have him as a part of our family and we feel that he is a very special spirit. He has already brought so much love into our lives and unity in our families.


Family picture




Nana and Grandpa


Mom, Dad, and Grant

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

This book has changed my life. I know that it is the word of God. Listen to this video clip about it. :)

First month

The first month of being a new mom has been, well, hard! Everyone says that it is hard, but you can't really comprehend it until you experience it for yourself. I still can't believe that I'm really a mom. When I look at Grant, I can't help but think what a miracle that is that he is here. It wasn't too long ago that he was growing inside of me, crazy! When I realize how everything happened so perfectly for him to get here, I am amazed. We feel so blessed to have Grant in our life. He is our son and we love him so much. The special moments we share with him make the sleepless nights, crying/screaming, diaper leaks, stress, and lack of free time so worth it!

But I won't lie. The transition is overwhelming. I have struggled a lot, especially the first two weeks. Even now we are experiencing more transitions as I am returning to work. But James and I are a team, and ask the Lord daily for help, and that makes everything somehow work out. I am surprised at how I have adjusted to getting through with so little sleep. God really must be helping me. Before, I used to feel grumpy and tired if I got 6-7 hours of sleep. Now, sometimes I only get a stretch of 4 hours, with an hour or two intermittently, and although I am tired I am still able to get the things done that I need to.

I also have to say that without the support of my husband, family, and friends...I couldn't have made it even this far as a mom. People have been so helpful, and for that we are so grateful. From our parents helping to watch Grant, to give us a break and help with things around the house...to friends coming by to drop off meals, hold Grant so that I could get a little rest or things done around the house, and even just having friendly company...it is so helpful! We are truly grateful for everyone who has been there to support us.

Here are some interesting facts about Grant's first month:

Likes:

• Pacifier! He has been wanting to suck on something 24/7 from day 1!


• To be held constantly


• To feel movement-bouncing, rocking, in the car


• When it is noisy


• Having his hands held


• To move his arms and legs constantly


• Looking at mom and dad

(First day home from the hospital)


(Grant wiggling on the couch)

Dislikes:

• Being naked


• Getting his diaper changed


• Baths

(After first bath)

Milestones at one month old:

• Has had his eyes wide open a lot-even from the first day of birth!


• He is starting to enjoy his playmat, batting at the toys hanging above him


• Likes to stretch out his legs


• Weighed 7 lbs 3 oz at two week check up


• Overcoming colicky spell


• Lifts up his head for short periods of time (since day of birth!)


• Makes grunting noises


• Will only sleep if mom and dad are nearby


• Starting to make non crying noises


• Trying to copy mom's smile

(Grant likes to hold his head up and look around while laying on the Boppy)

Current Hobbies: Eating, sleeping, pooping, and farting (a lot), sticking his tongue out, wrinkling his forehead, and enticing anyone and everyone to hold him (especially the ladies)

Favorite game: Spitting out his pacifier, crying, waiting for mom & dad to put it back in, then repeat for hours

Birth of Grant William Gardiner

Baby Grant was born at 7:59 p.m. on January 23rd, 2010. 7lbs, 4 oz and 21 inches long! He was very wiggly and squirmy right from the first minute!

The previous friday night, James and I went to a nice dinner and movie together, figuring it might be one of the last times we would get to go out for a while. Little did we know! The doctor called Saturday morning with the results of my 24 hour urine test, and things were not good. Regularly, the protein levels should be around 200, and mine were at 2000. Since he was full term, the doctor said that it would be best to just go ahead and get him out of there. So she told us to come in right away to get induced! James was still sleeping, so after I got off the phone, I said, "Honey, we are going to the hospital!" What a way to get woken up, haha. Here is me right before we left for the hospital, at about 38 weeks.



I am pretty lucky at how everything went. Since I was already 2cm and 50% effaced, I was in a very good position to be induced. We got to the hospital at 11:45 a.m. At this point, I was very nervous and anxious. I had no idea what to expect and I was worried that if things didn't progress well that I might have to get a C-section which is something I really wanted to avoid.



So we get taken to our room and the nurse asks all kinds of questions and it takes seemingly forever. I don't know why they make you "pre-register" and then ask all the same questions all over again. It made me even more nervous and anxious with all the waiting and whenever we were alone in the labor & delivery room I started crying because I was just in shock that this was actually happening and I felt soooo not ready.

Finally I get the IV and they started giving me Pitocin. For the first two hours I was barely feeling anything but I could see that I was having contractions on the monitor. Then I started feeling what felt like mild period cramps. The contractions were about 4 minutes apart and lasted about a minute. I was still feeling pretty good at this point because the pain was something that I had felt before. I was about 3 cm at this point.

Then the contractions started getting intense. I was able to breathe through them without too much trouble, but it felt like very BAD period cramps (which I have had plenty of times, so although it hurt, it was managable. James was standing next to me holding my hand and rubbing me during them. They were about 3 minutes apart and I was at 4 cm. They were saying what good progress I was making and all I could think was, "That's IT?!?! 4 cm? I'm not even halfway there and the pain is only going to get worse!"

At that point I started thinking about asking for the epidural. It was about 4:10 p.m. and I requested the epidural, figuring that it would take at least 20 minutes before the anethesiologist would get there and get things going. Well, it turned out that he was in surgery and I had to wait over an hour just for him to get there. At this point the contractions got INCREDIBLY painful. When they would come, I would either 1) Cry, 2) Say, "I CAN'T DO THIS! I WANT AN EPIDURAL!" and/or 3)hyperventilate and moan. James was right there by my side every step of the way telling me how tough I was and how great I was doing. Surprisingly, I didn't yell at him, just asked him a few times to stop doing things because they bothered me...like sometimes I just did not want to be touched.

Everyone just kept telling me to "breathe," but honestly it is not that easy! Your body just naturally tenses up and it is so hard to relax how you are supposed to. I honestly felt like I was going to die! Worst pain ever.

The nurses gave me a narcotic to tide me over until I could get the epidural. It made me feel really out of it but I was able to relax and control my breathing. I still felt pain, but it wasn't to the degree as I had been feeling. It was a huge temporary relief. It was wearing off by the time the anesthiesiologist got there, so it was good timing. I laid on my side while I got the epidural and it went very smoothly. I started to feel relief almost immediately.

Once I got the epidural, life was good!



I just was continually amazed at how much BETTER I felt. I was having contractions and I couldn't feel them! Yay! I was still a bit out of it due to the other drugs but I just felt like I was in heaven. You don't realize how much you appreciate being pain free until you can compare it to the alternative! I started feeling a LOT of pressure and discomfort, and by the time it was 7:25 I was ready to start pushing. The nurse was awesome and so helpful. She and James were the only ones in the room and they were encouraging me every step of the way. I was worried that I wouldn't know how to push since this was my first time and because I was numb from the epidural, but surprisingly I felt completely in control of my body and with the great coaching the nurse gave, it went incredibly smooth. After about half an hour of pushing, Grant William Gardiner was born at 7:59 p.m.!



A pretty short labor & delivery and it couldn't have gone better! I am so grateful for that, and for our precious baby boy. When the doctor put him in my arms after he came out, the first thing the little guy did was grab my finger with his hand. It was an amazing moment.


Brand new baby


First family photo


Proud mom


Thanks Dr. Nowitzky!


Our precious boy

I am still in disbelief that he came from inside of me. It is such an incredible miracle. I can't stop looking at him and thinking how much I love him already.

Christmas

We had a great Christmas (Again, this post is very late)! It was the Gardiner's turn to have all the kids spend Christmas at their house. So we spent several days with James' parents, siblings and spouses, and niece and nephews. It was a full house but I think it was the best Christmas this side of the family has spent together yet. We all had a great time playing games, making and eating a LOT of food, exchanging gifts, taking a mini trip, and most importantly remembering the birth of Jesus Christ.

It was so fun to see our nephews and niece get so excited about making cookies for Santa and seeing what he brought them. It was definitely one of the major highlights.







The day after Christmas, we went to Goose Island in Rockport. It was beautiful, but COLD! We got to walk around on the little island made of oyster shells and see a tree that was over 1000 years old. Then we went to eat at a charming restaurant on the water.

Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

So this post is extremely late! So much has happened recently that we haven't had time to keep up with blogging. But here is some highlights from the holidays.

We had a wonderful time getting ready for our second Christmas together as a married couple. We continued our traditions of picking out a tree and decorating it, and added the shepard/animal figurines to our manger/nativity set. We also added a few new ornaments this year that we bought on our Carribean cruise last January. James finished staining the manger and it looks wonderful!





We got together with our neighbors and made candy houses. I have never really done elaborate candy houses before, but we had SO much fun making them! It was even more fun to EAT it over the next few days. We were so proud of our little house and we want to make it a tradition to make one every year.









Of course the entry could not be complete without some more pregnancy pictures. I am glad that I took so many pictures throughout my pregnancy because it is fun to look back on them. Here are some of me at about 33 weeks.

Catch up: Graduation

The past two years have been some of the most challenging in my life. And also the most joyful and satisfying. I want to record my thoughts and experiences related to finishing my graduate degree and what it means to me, and show my appreciation for those who have helped me along the way.

Decision to go to grad school

In the Summer of 2007, I was finishing up the last few months of my mission in Virginia/West Virginia. One morning, I decided to read some talks from the Ensign (church magazine). As I was doing so, there was one talk that President Hinckley (former leader/prophet of our church) had given to the youth. I remember reading a certain passage regarding education and feeling the Spirit pierce my heart so strongly and directly with the prompting that I needed to obtain more education and go to graduate school.

"Beyond ecclesiastical study there is the challenge of education. Resolve now, while you are young, that you will get all of the education you can. We live in a highly competitive age, and it will only grow worse. Education is the key that will unlock the door of opportunity.

You may plan on marriage, and hope for it, but you are not certain that it will come. And even though you marry, education will be of great benefit to you. Don’t just drift along, letting the days come and go without improvement in your lives. The Lord will bless you as you make the effort. Your lives will be enriched and your outlook broadened as your minds are opened to new vistas and knowledge. ("http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=6de3b5658af22110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1">"Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly," President Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign May 2007)

My main thoughts were that although I planned on working when I got home from my mission, that now would be the time to further my education. I wanted to save up money from working so that when James and I got married, that I might be able to stay home with our children when we started a family. That is something I really, really wanted. To be a full time mom. I know the knowledge I would give to my children would be so valuable to them. But after reading this talk, the main impression that came to my mind is that we cannot control what happens in our lives, so it is best to prepare for any situation that may arise in the future despite what we have planned.

When I got home from my mission, I tried to find a job for a while. I still did not want to go to grad school. But I was unsuccessful at finding a "real" job, and that's when I started looking at schools. I always wanted to go to Texas A&M for grad school, partly because it was where I went for my undergrad and partly because I just love College Station. But the programs offered and the requirements and deadlines just weren't matching up with my situation. I thought of going to Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. The program was relatively short, I did not need work experience to be accepted into the program, and the location would be near James when he got home from his mission, but also someplace I wouldn't mind living in case it didn't work out with him.

So from that moment things happened fast. I took the GMAT two weeks later, submitted my application, was accepted to the program, and was awarded a scholarship.

Starting Grad school

I was very overwhelmed when I started grad school. The people in my classes seemed like they knew everything that was going on and I felt completely lost! I didn't know anyone and the coursework was time consuming. I was also in the middle of planning my wedding with James, I had just moved in to a new apartment in a new town, and I also started my first, full time, professional job. So needless to say, I was stressed out! Things worked out, though, and eventually I got used to everything and just kept going from semester to semester.

Things got difficult again when I got pregnant. I was so extremely tired all the time, and I was going to class for 3+ hours four days a week during the summer, including working full time, plus homework, projects, and exams. It was insane! I really don't know how I did it, I must have been receiving some extra help!

Finishing grad school

It felt so good to finally finish and be done with my last semester project. It felt very satisfying to complete everything and to know that I had accomplished my goal. I learned SO much about so many things. I was able to use a LOT of what I learned in my job and in several areas of my life. I feel much more prepared for whatever the future holds and MUCH more confident in my abilities as a professional. A combination of education and real world job experience has led me to new opportunities for growth, and I am so grateful for that! I am so thankful to have the opportunity for education. I took it for granted as an undergraduate, and I appreciate everything SO much more now. I can't believe I finally have an MBA, it feels awesome!

I would like to show my gratitude to all of those who helped to make this possible. The support of my family, husband, boss, professors, and friends made all the difference.

To James-thank you for being my loving husband and supporting me in everything that I do. You gave me encouragement every step in the way that was vital to me. Every time I got frustrated at my busy schedule, you did what you could to help me and made sure that I knew you were there for me. You helped me to know that I could do anything that I set my mind to and to always remember the "big picture," that school would not last forever and that I would be glad to finish when it was all over.

To my family-thank you for instilling the value of education and hard work into me. From an early age, you have always focused on the importance of doing well in my studies and showing diligence that would help prepare me for the "real world" and adult life. Thank you for teaching me that anything worth doing is worth doing WELL and the importance with always following through with commitments. Thank you for teaching me that you cannot get something for nothing and that things are best valued when they are worked for. Without these life lessons, I know that I would have not been likely to achieve this goal.

To my boss-thank you for creating a work environment that values higher education. Thank you for offering the flexibility that I would need to go to school and to finish my degree. Thank you for listening to me during the difficult days and for your overall encouragement and advice. All of these things have made a huge difference to me and helped enable me to achieve this goal.

To my professors-Thank you to those who make the extra effort to make the material MEANINGFUL and USEFUL. Great professors can make all the difference!

To my friends-Thank you for listening to me during all of the stressful moments. Thank you for understanding my crazy schedule. Thank you for your overall support and encouragement!